Get Your Ex Back

My ex dumped me… but I think they’re still in love with me!

Sound familiar?  Many times a boyfriend or girlfriend will end their relationship with you, but start sending mixed messages and conflicting signals immediately afterward.  This is because any break up is an emotional mess… on both sides of the fence.  No matter how long you’ve been dating or how good or bad things may have been – any time your ex breaks up with you, residual feelings and emotions will always remain.

Look at it this way: a relationship is a living, breathing entity.  It doesn’t just disappear into thin air the second your ex drops those dreaded words: “I think we should break up”.  No, even after your ex boyfriend or girlfriend walks away the feelings they have for you will stick around.  Your ex still loves you until those feelings dissipate, and even without contact that could take several weeks or even months.

This isn’t to say you’re home free.  Getting an ex back takes time, patience, and a bit of work on your part.  You can’t sit around doing nothing and hope for the best… your ex may or may not come back to you.  But in the case where you both developed some love and attachment, it’s going to be difficult for your ex to just ditch your relationship cold turkey.  Below are just a few of the questions you’ll find at the Full Version of the Does Your Ex Still Love You Ultimate Quiz:

Question 1: Exactly how did your ex “word” the break up?

There are many different ways your ex could’ve gone about ending things.  “I need some space” is a good one.  Generally, this means that your ex wants to try out being single for a while, and see if he or she likes it.  If it sticks?  You’ll get more space than a Star Wars movie.  But if it doesn’t, your ex has the option to come back.  They still love you, and want you to stick around while they decide what to do.  In this case, winning your boyfriend or girlfriend’s attention is as easy as agreeing with them.  Telling them you’re totally fine with that idea and then walking away?  It’ll throw your ex for such a loop that they’ll be looking to make up with you before the week’s out.

Question 2: Has your ex called, emailed, or text-messaged you since the breakup?

An ex who’s truly finished with dating you will walk away as cleanly as possible.  They’re not going to call you to “see how you’re doing”, or text-message you, or continue keeping you on their email joke list.  No, any ex who does these things is not totally finished with the notion of being with you.  They’re reserving the right to take you back, or come back to you, when and if they decide to undo the breakup.  Try not to make first contact, and wait to see how long it takes your ex to get in touch with you.  The sooner this happens, the more your ex still loves you.

Question 3: What kind of contact have you had with your ex since you split up?

The more contact you and your ex have after breaking up, the less likely it is that the breakup will stick.  Contact made by you doesn’t count – this would be contact initiated by your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.  Text messages and emails are somewhat impersonal, but phone calls are a lot more important.  But the biggest sign that your ex does still love you would be when he or she shows up somewhere they know you to be.  Work, home, school… even a party – it doesn’t really matter.  Whenever your ex is checking up on you, he or she is not ready to let go of the relationship.

Does your ex still love you?  There are many ways to find out.  The signs and signals given off when your ex is getting ready to reconcile are many, and include outward signs as well as more subtle indications they can’t help but exhibit.  Following your heart is a critical part of the process, but putting aside wishful thinking and looking at things from an honest viewpoint is important too.

Does my exboyfriend or exgirlfriend still have feelings for me?

It’s the first thing you ask yourself before making that major decision: do I fight for the relationship or do I let it go?  When your ex breaks things off and you still think the romance has a shot at working?  Knowing exactly how your ex still feels about you can go a long way toward winning them back.  The following quiz can help you figure out just how much of an attachment is still there, but also be sure to check out the Full 18 Question Version of the infamous Does My Ex Still Love Me Quiz

How Did Your Ex Break Up With You?

a) Your ex said “We need some time apart”
b) Your ex told you “I don’t think we’re really compatible”
c) Your ex gave the line “We fight too much and I can’t deal with it anymore”
d) Your ex suggested “We’d probably be better off with other people”

Answer A) Anytime your ex asks for some time apart, he or she probably wants a break instead of a break up.  Although they could just be letting you down easy, it’s far more common that your ex wants to see what else is out there… while you wait around patiently waiting for them to return.  Don’t let them place you into this role.  When your ex ends the relationship – even temporarily – by asking for some time apart, let them know you think it’s a great idea!  Then walk away and break all contact, and see how fast your ex comes running back to you.

Answer B) Whenever an ex tells you you’re not compatible, they’re fishing for your opinion on the subject.  They’re also trying to get you to change.  Your ex’s goal may be a short, temporary break up in which you get scared, promise to change, and then he or she lovingly takes you back with these new stipulations.  You should Never promise to change yourself for anyone – especially a boyfriend or girlfriend.  Your ex fell in love with you for who you are… be that person, and you’ll never have to pretend.  If you take nothing else away from the does my ex still love me quiz, take that one lesson.

Answer C) When your ex lists excessive fighting as an excuse to break up with you, it’s actually a great sign.   Does your ex still love you?  In all likelihood yes, but they’re not in love with the conflict that your relationship brings.  Fixing the conflict can bring you closer together, and can actually make your relationship stronger than ever before.  Before apologizing for anything, make sure some of the fights are actually your fault.  Seek out the reasons why you fight so much, and if they’re petty?  Try to forget them.  Immaturity, jealousy, and pettiness are the cause of 95% of relationship fights.  Money generally makes up the rest of them.

Answer D) Did your ex tell you he or she wanted to see other people?  If so, this may have been a longstanding issue.  This quiz is helpful in identifying that your ex could be ready to jump into a rebound relationship… one which probably won’t last more than a few weeks.  Stopping your ex from seeing this new person may be difficult or impossible, but getting them back won’t be.  Regardless of whether or not your ex gets involved in a new romance, there will be ways of tugging on your ex’s emotional bonds to you in ways that will send he or she crawling back to you.  Learning the right instant reversal methods are key.

Describe the Contact You’ve Had With Your Ex Since The Break Up?

a) My ex hasn’t contacted me yet.
b) I called or left a message for my ex first, and they responded
c) My ex called the next day to see how I was
d) It took a few weeks, and then my ex contacted me

Answer A) No contact isn’t necessarily bad, depending upon how long it’s been since the break up.  Spending time apart without any communication can give you the valuable advantage of allowing your ex time to miss you, and this is a critical part of making your ex want you again.  If it’s been more than 5 or 6 weeks since you haven’t seen or talked to each other?  Better get working on some reconnection techniques.

Answer B) Calling your ex first is never a good idea, because he or she will feel like you’re chasing them.  Breaking up with you was a tough decision, and by hounding your ex immediately after the break up you’re actually being defiant of their choice.  Chill out, take a deep breath, and realize that winning an ex back doesn’t happen all at once.  Having patience now will help make your future moves much more effective.

Answer C) An ex who calls you immediately after the break up is showing big signs of interest.  They also may be having second thoughts about the decision to break up.  Unless your ex is only phoning you to ask when he or she can pick up their stuff, this is generally a good sign that your ex still loves you.

Answer D) When your ex waits a while before getting back in touch with you, it’s almost the best possible sign you can get.  This means that your ex already misses you, and has been thinking about you unprompted.  They’re reaching out to find out whether or not you’ve moved on, and to see if you’re available for a reconciliation.  Although your ex may not come out and say these things when he or she first calls, they’re definitely considering the emotional bonds of love and affection that you had when you were still together.  Memories are powerful, and in this case they’ve driven your ex to contact you again.