Tag: Friends

When you and your partner have just broken up, it can be hard to stay within striking distance of each other after the breakup.  When the breakup is still fresh, you may not be able to look at your ex straight in the eye when you meet each other across the street.  You may even find yourself wanting to burst into tears or hit a wall because of the painful memories of the breakup.

After you have calmed down and the breakup does not affect you that violently anymore, you may find yourself pining for your ex and wanting to get back with your ex again.  If you find yourself still in love with your ex after the breakup, what should you do?  One way to bridge the gap between you and your ex is to become friends with your ex again.

Why Being Friends after the Breakup Works

If you want to get back with your ex after your breakup, it may be a good idea to become friends with your ex before attempting a romantic reconciliation.  In this way, you would be able to gauge the situation with your ex before jumping into any attempt at winning him or her back.  This will save you from any hurt and embarrassment later on.

There are three main reasons why it is best for you to cultivate a friendship with your ex before trying to get him or her to fall in love with you again.  Here are these three reasons:

1. Your ex may be involved with someone else by now.  When you are in love with someone, your goal should always be to make that someone happy. If it seems to you that your ex is happy with his or her current partner, then you should be magnanimous enough to keep your distance and just stay friendly with your ex.  It would be selfish of you to cause their breakup just so you can get your ex back.  However, being a friend to your ex can help you see if your ex is truly happy or not.  If it turns out that he or she is unhappy with the current flame, then you can try to make your move.

2. Your ex may be afraid of getting back with you because he or she does not want to make the same mistakes again.  Let us face it.  There are reasons why the two of you broke up in the first place.  It is only natural for your ex to want to avoid falling into the same traps and getting hurt again.  By being a friend to your ex before attempting a reconciliation, you are giving your ex a chance to see that the two of you can work things out for the better this time.

3. Your ex may not be interested in you anymore.  This is another fact that you must face.  For some people, once a breakup is done, it is done and there is no turning back anymore.  Your ex may feel that you are already a closed chapter in his or her life, and it is a chapter that is not worth going back to anymore.  If this is your case, you can use your friendship to capture your ex’s interest again and make him or her fall in love with you once more.

Being Just Friends Also Gives You Time to Think

There is another reason why you should try being friends with your ex first before attempting a romantic reconciliation.  That reason is that being friends with your ex can give you more time to think whether or not you should really go back to being in a relationship with your ex. After all, you may only want the reconciliation because you just miss being with your ex, not because you are still in love with him or her.

Being just friends with your ex gives you the time and the opportunity to assess whether you should give the relationship another try or you should simply move on. Sometimes, no matter how hard you want to get back with your ex, the best option may be just to stay friends.

Lea Hall is a freelance writer, business owner, bookworm, people watcher and relationship savant. She is a published author and has written thousands of articles on relationships, fashion, health and well-being and many other subjects in the last ten years.

A breakup does not have to spell the end of your relationship. You can stay friends with your ex and, if you play your cards right, you can get back with your ex and start anew. Discover how you can get back with your ex by visiting http://www.dating-and-relationship-advice.info.

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Breaking up… it’s the type of thing that’s both a blessing and a curse.  While it gives you the opportunity for a fresh start, you’re also losing someone you were once very close with.  In many cases, men and women will try to remain friends with their ex boyfriend or girlfriend even after splitting up.  And in today’s world of instant electronic communication?  It’s actually harder to NOT stay in touch.

But how many couples do you know that have managed to stay friends after dating?  And more importantly, how long did that friendship last?

The problem with staying friendly with a person you once dated is that such a relationship degenerates rather quickly.  Feelings of jealousy and rejection can erode away your friendship from the inside, while new people will attack it from other directions.  Some common examples of the pitfalls of being friends with an ex are listed below:

You Still Love Your Ex

In this, the most common of all scenarios, you weren’t ready to end your relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend.  Instead, your ex broke up with you.  Not only were you hurt and crushed, but you wanted your ex back.  And in trying to get this person to give your romance a second shot, you agreed to be “just friends” with them… a seriously bad move, if you ever want to kiss your ex again, anywhere other than on their cheek.

Your Ex Still Loves You

When you dump someone and they still want to be friends?  It’s because they’re still hoping to get you back.  No amount of them telling you they just “love being around you” should convince you otherwise.  Any time an ex is still hanging around after a break up, he or she is trying to make a romantic impression on you… or they’re waiting to see if you change your mind.

You Start Dating Again

Let’s say you get a new boyfriend or girlfriend.  Now what happens to the friendship you developed with your ex?  Do you continue to talk, email, and perhaps even see each other despite the fact that you’re dating someone else?  If so, is that fair to this new person?  Or will you start to see your ex less and less (and your new lover more and more) until you drift completely apart?  The honest answer is pretty obvious, here.

Your Ex Starts Seeing Someone Else

The opposite of the above scenario, once your ex has a new boyfriend or girlfriend how long do you think you’ll still be hanging out with them?  Will they tell their new lover about you, an “ex” that they once dated?  If so, do you think this person’s new love interest is going to want them around you very much?  Probably not.  Shrugging helplessly, your ex will ditch you at every turn, causing anomosity between you and jealousy on your part.

You Want Your Ex Back Again

Can you get your ex back if you’re now nothing more than friends?  Not very likely.  Being friends with an ex is like surrendering to being demoted: you can no longer flirt with them, ask them out, or do anything with any kind of romantic overtones.  You’re relegated to staying in that very awkward position of still wanting someone, but being forced to watch them live out their life without you in it.  And once your ex begins dating again?  You’re going to feel sick to your stomach as you watch them kiss their new boyfriend or girlfriend.

Stop for a minute, and be honest.  Are you just being your ex’s friend because you want them back?  If so, you’re walking down the wrong path.  The road to reconciliation is long and winding, but it does NOT lead through friendship.  In fact, it leads in the exact opposite direction – and that’s your only hope of winning back an ex boyfriend or girlfriend who wants to be friends with you.

There are 8 Individual Steps that will Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend… or in the case of an ex boyfriend, Winning Your Boyfriend Back. Don’t settle for being friends with an ex when what you really want is a long-term, lasting relationship together.

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“But we can still be friends, right?”

It sounds so good and wholesome when your ex says it.  As if everything’s gonna be alright, despite the fact that you just got dumped.

Reluctantly, you agree.  Right now, any future contact with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend sounds good.  After all, you don’t want to lose them forever.  And by staying friends, maybe you can work your way back up to being their boyfriend or girlfriend again.  By staying in close proximity to your ex, they’ll eventually see how much they love you and ask you to come back.  Being friends with your ex sounds like a direct shortcut through all this breakup nonsense and straight back to reconciliation.  Right?

Well… if only it were that easy.

The bad news is you just got dumped.  Your ex might’ve been letting you down gently by offering to stay friendly after the breakup.  More likely however, your ex wants to be friends because they still want to leave the door to the relationship slightly open – and this is a good sign.

Understand that just as breaking up is very hard on you, it’s also going to be hard on your boyfriend or girlfriend.  Even though they ended things, your ex still has feelings and emotions that make them very attached to you.  Making the decision to break things off doesn’t mean those feelings just disappear into thin air, but it does mean that your ex probably put those emotions aside in an attempt to move on without you.  In that respect, your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend has a slight head start.

Wanting to be friends however, allows your ex to let go of you very gradually.  Instead of losing you all at once, your ex puts him or herself into the very comfortable position of walking away… little by little… while still knowing where you are, what you’re doing, and most important of all: how much you’re still sweating them.  It’s comforting for your ex to realize they can have you back at a moment’s notice.  It’s easy for your ex to break up with you knowing that, as his or her new friend, you’re always going to be in plain sight.

This is why, right after your ex dumps you, you’ll need to refuse to be friends with them.  And not only that, but you have to walk coolly away from the relationship as if you really don’t care anymore.

“Sorry, I can’t be friends with you.  I love you as a girlfriend (or boyfriend), and that’s not going to change.  I can’t pretend to not have those feelings for you, while hanging around as your buddy.  Good luck with everything, but I’ve got to go my own way.”

Imagine saying those words to your ex – whether you’ve already agreed to be their friend or not.  Visualize it.  Put the whole scene in your head, and run through it a few times.  What do you think your ex will say?  Even better, what do you think they’ll feel?

Your ex wanted to be friends with you for a very simple reason – they weren’t completely over the relationship just yet.  By doing things this way, you’ve essentially just broken things off yourself.  You’re walking away and going on with your own life, while leaving your ex in the dust.  You’ve rejected them.

This is an amazing way of getting back on your ex’s mind, and to make them question the break up.  Your boyfriend or girlfriend’s head will be spinning when you tell them exactly why you can’t be friends with them.  As they struggle to come up with reasons you should keep in touch, you’re suddenly not answering your phone… or your email… or your text-messages.  Now imagine your ex getting suddenly desperate to be back in touch with you, after not having heard from you for a couple of days.

When it comes to getting your ex back, you just can’t do it from a position of friendship.  You can’t just wing it either – you need a step-by-step blueprint for success.  Knowing what to say, how to say it, and exactly when you should be approaching your ex boyfriend or girlfriend can mean the difference between putting them back in your arms or losing them for good.  Learning just the right methods and techniques for winning your ex back will almost always result in reconciliation, even when your ex just wants to be friends with you.

There are 8 Individual Steps that will Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend… or in the case of an ex boyfriend, Win your Boyfriend Back. Don’t settle for being friends with an ex when what you really want is a long-term, lasting relationship!

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“But hey… we can still be friends!”

Sounds so sweet, doesn’t it?  In a world filled with puppy dogs and whipped cream, being friends with an ex seems like such a fantastic way to end things.  After all, no one gets to miss each other.  You and your now ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend can talk, email, text, and even physically see each other after the break.  In some cases, you can get together and hang out.  And in the “friends with benefits” scenario?  The perks get even better.  It seems as if there’s no limit to the good things that come from remaining friendly with your ex.

But hey, is such a scenario realistic?  Or am I throwing sugar over something far too bitter to swallow?

Idealistically, staying friends with your ex is a great way of keeping someone in your life who you still value very much.  It’s also a nice way to soften the blow of breaking up; even though you’re no longer dating, you still don’t have to cut that person from your life.  This is why so many people seek to remain friendly with an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend – losing them is made so much less painful when you know you can still see and talk to them on a daily basis.

Realistically speaking however, these are the same reasons why such a friendship never works out.  Because you’re still a part of your ex’s life, you’re forced to watch their daily routine.  For example, what happens when your ex begins dating someone else?  Can you be happy for them, or will you be jealous?  In many cases, a person will remain friends with their ex for the wrong reasons: because they want that person back.  If you’re looking to get back together with your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend, can you watch them run off and start seeing other people?

Imagine your ex kissing his or her new lover… and having to watch from a front row seat.  That’s what you get when you stay friends with an ex: a play-by-play, blow-by-blow visualization of your ex’s new romance.  He or she will call you up, very excited, telling you all about the new person they’re dating.  And as a good “friend”, you now have to feign happiness and wish them luck… all the while inwardly hoping that their new relationship will fail miserably.

There are winners and losers in every break up.  If you were on the receiving end of things, chances are good that you stayed friendly with an exboyfriend or exgirlfriend in order to soften the blow of losing them… and more probably, to also get them back again.  But you know what?  Being friends after a break up actually provides the opposite effect: the longer you let yourself be cast as your ex’s “buddy”, the further and further removed you’ll be from them seeing you with a romantic eye.  The longer you’re friends, the more permanent that friendship becomes.

And hey, what happens when your ex’s new boyfriend or girlfriend no longer wants them hanging out with you?  After all, would you want your partner still seeing, talking to, and possibly even hanging out with a person they once dated and slept with?  Not likely.  Which is why any friendship you develop with your ex is doomed from the very beginning: people on the outside will always be looking to tear it down.

Instead of being friends with an ex when you’re still in love with them, why not actually make moves toward getting them back?  The transition from being a “friend” back to being a boyfriend or girlfriend again is difficult, but there are techniques you can use to help speed it along.  By learning which methods are best for winning your ex over, you can rekindle the emotional bonds they had to you back when you first started dating.  By touching on and drawing out your ex’s inner feelings for you, you’ll place yourself back into a romantic position once more.

Never try to substitute friendship for a real relationship.  If you want your ex back, go get them!  Stop pretending to be friends when you really still love this person.

There are 8 Individual Steps that will Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend… or in the case of an ex boyfriend, Win your Boyfriend Back. Don’t settle for being friends with your ex when what you really want is a long-term, lasting relationship together.

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If you want to learn“how to win my ex back”, then you need to stop being friends with your ex boyfriend. If you’re interested in finding out more keep on reading. I know that sounds kind of funny…but it’s true. If you are really serious about wanting to know “how to win my ex back”, then you need to stop being friends with your ex boyfriend.

Stop Being Friends With Ex Boyfriend

If you want to learn how to win your ex back then you must stop being friends with your ex boyfriend, and start getting your ex boyfriend back. As long as he sees you as just a friend that is all you will be to him. A lot of times during a break up women tend to think that settling for just being friends will be their foot in the door to getting their ex back. This is true…if you do it wisely you will learn “how to win my ex back.” If you do not…you could be stuck in the friends zone forever.

The first step to stop being friends with your ex boyfriend, and moving towards getting your ex back is to not hang on their every word. What I mean to say is…do not make yourself so available to them, and start to draw away from them gradually. Be polite and if they ask; “Is anything wrong?” Tell them no I just need some time alone to think about things. It will be pretty obvious to them that you are losing interest in being just friends with your ex boyfriend, and you will have made the first step towards “winning back my ex.”

Become Their Hot Looking Ex Girlfriend

If you really want to get your ex boyfriend back, and win back your ex you must make them think of you as more than a friend. This can be accomplished by dressing more attractively and awakening the male sexual side of your ex boyfriend. Switching from a “nice friend” to a “hot chick” will get your ex boyfriend thinking about you in a whole different way. You can get your ex boy friend back a lot faster if you change the way he sees you…friend or potential date.

I know you’re thinking; “I want to get my ex back, but not just for sex.” I know you are also probably thinking “How can I win my ex back that way?” You will get your ex boyfriend back heart and soul if you can shift their way of thinking about you. If you want to know how to win your ex back the quickest way, It is to stop being friends with your ex boyfriend, and start making “him” think about “how to win my ex girlfriend back.”

Stop Being Friends With Ex Boyfriend – How to Win My Ex Back – A Big Mistake

Why would anyone do this? I mean, do you really think by randomly getting advice from friends, family, and co-workers, that you are going to succeed? You need a plan, a plan that works, and you need it now. What? You want to learn “How to win my ex back”, but you do not have a plan? If you want to stop being friends with your ex boyfriend, and get your ex boyfriend back you need a good plan.

If you do not have a good plan…I do, and it works…just take a look at my success stories page. I will be happy to help you, and to guide you, if you are willing to work with me and the plan. Just get the “best free advice” out there, and stop just being friends with your ex boyfriend. Do It Today! Learn from your mistakes, before you make them….and win your ex boyfriend back.

Until next time,

S. Williams

~I know that “love hurts” but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love’s ass~

http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com

S.Williams is an accomplished Relationship Adviser, who has helped many people get back together with their ex.


He has written many articles and will work one-on-one with you, to help you follow the best plan out there…to win back your ex.


You can sign up for his free videos, tips, and advice by just clicking here. Do it today, so you can have a better tomorrow. ~I know that “love hurts” but with his help you will get strong enough to kick love’s ass.~

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