When it comes to getting your ex’s attention again, less is more. If you’re constantly around or in your ex’s line of sight, you become almost invisible to them. But when you’re more of a mystery and you’ve disappeared for a while? These are the things that make exboyfriends and exgirlfriends curious about what you’ve been up to. They’ll ask friends where you are, what you’re doing, and how you’re getting along without them. Even though your ex may have dumped you, he or she wants to know that you still love and need them. Why? Because they want you back? No, not yet anyway. The answer is much more simple: as human beings, we all want to be loved and needed.

Getting Your Ex To Call You Up Again

If you’re not supposed to call your ex up, the next best thing is to get them to call you. If you can make your ex reach out in your direction, instead of the other way around, then you win back some of the power you lost when they broke things off with you. It puts you in the driver’s seat, so to speak. And this is exactly where you want to be, if you’d like to date your ex again.

There are some really great techniques for re-establishing a connection with your ex, but the best ones will always make them think contact is actually their idea.  Your ex won’t call you until he or she is curious.  They may not even be ready to get back together, but if you’ve done something that warrants their attention?  Your ex will start feeling around for you.  This can take many forms, and having her friends call or contact you is one of them.  Eventually though, if you’ve provided the right environment?  Your ex will have the need to see or hear from you again.  And this is a major step on the road to getting your ex back.

Talking To Your Ex After the Break Up

Communication with your ex is a vital part of getting back together again, but it must be done correctly. By learning the right and wrong way of dealing with this facet of the breakup, you can forge ahead with a new relationship rather than struggle in the ruins of your old one.  All too often people trying to get their ex’s back will fall into the same old trap: regressing back into the old relationship.  You MUST treat any new contact with an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend as if you’re seeing and hearing from them for the very first time.  By not dragging up the demons of the past, you avoid falling into the same old traps.  Once you and your ex are dating again, there will be plenty of time to go over what went wrong.  But right now, while you’re still trying to win their heart again?  You need to approach them in the most non-confrontational and non-commital way possible, so that you don’t scare them off.

The Opening: “Hey, how’ve you been?”

Simple, quick, and to the point. Make sure you don’t sound overly enthusiastic here, because you don’t want your ex to think you’re too happy to think of him (even though you are). At the same time, don’t sound upset or depressed either, because then he’ll think you were doing nothing but sitting around waiting for him to call you.

Positive Encouragement: “It’s good to hear from you again”

You want your ex to know you’re glad he called, and this gives him encouragement. You want to say it in a way that sounds almost like recognition is dawning upon you… like you didn’t immediately know his voice. This puts him a little bit off, because he might wonder how you could’ve forgotten about him so quickly.

Reason For The Call: “So what’s up?”

Here’s where your exboyfriend will be at a disadvantage: he has to explain why he called you. No matter what reason he gives, and no matter how trumped up or lame it is, let him have it. You want to make him feel comfortable in talking to you again – if you want your ex back that is – so don’t question him having ulterior motives.

Catching Up on Things: “What have you been up to? How’s work? School? Family? Etc…”

Here’s the body of your conversation. Handling the ex boyfriend phone call requires you to be calm, cool, and confident. You want to let him do most of the talking if possible, but he’s going to want to know about you. Right now he’s missing you, and he’ll want to know whether or not your life is moving on without him. For this reason, you need to be very vague. Deflect direct questions with roundabout answers, and then ask about his own situation. Don’t let him interrogate you about who you’ve been hanging out with and what you’re doing… you want to give your ex the impression that you’re leading a very happy and busy life, but without disclosing any details. Your goal is to make him even more curious then before he called.

The Quick Exit: “Hey I’m really sorry, but I’m about to run out. Listen, this whole week is shot for me, but call me next week if you want to talk some more. Cool?”

So many important things happen here, so let’s take them one at a time. First, you need to get off the phone quickly. The ex boyfriend phone call should last no more than three minutes. By leaving him wanting more, and by leaving him curious as hell, your ex is going to need to call you again.

You also just told him you’re running out the door, but you didn’t say where. As your ex boyfriend, he’s going to wonder immediately where you’re going, and why it was so important that you’re blowing him a call from him to go do it. Yes, you were apologetic, but he’s still going to feel slightly less important than he did before he first picked up the phone… and this is GOOD.

The last thing you did was tell him to call you… and best of all, you told him to do this IF he wanted to. It’s almost as if you don’t care whether he calls back or not, and this will scare him most of all. Your ex will worry that maybe you’ve moved on, and might even think you’ve met another guy. After all, you told him that the rest of the week was no good for you… so what could be so important that he shouldn’t call back until several days later?

The Next Step: Meeting Up With Your Ex

The example above is a great way of handling the situation when your ex boyfriend calls you. By staying in charge of the conversation you’re actually seizing back some of the power lost when he broke up with you. By creating an environment in which he leaves the conversation knowing even less than when he first called you, it ensures that he’ll call again. And after a couple of phone conversations with your ex? You can move onto the next step. Meeting Your Boyfriend For The Reunion Date.

Always remember: when he calls, you’re in the driver’s seat. This is why it’s so important to get your ex to make that call. There are some great tips and techniques you can use to get your ex to call you, so make sure you learn them before moving forward.

Other Relationship Repair Resources

Getting back together with someone happens because one person has a step-by-step plan for success. The phone call outlined above is a great example of knowing what to do before a situation even occurs. Learn all you can, because the more you know, the better the chances you’ll win back your ex. If you love him and want your boyfriend back in your arms again, you won’t want to leave anything to chance.

Just after the breakup, please refrain from contacting your ex in all sorts of media so as to let both of you calm down. After this first two weeks or so, you can initiate the communication by sending your ex a couple of text messages. These text messages will have to induce your ex to call you up. The rules behind what you are going to text your ex are as follows:

1. Create curiosity and interest in your text messages by being vague in your text messages. Let the contact or communication be as open-ended as possible so as to give some lee-way for your ex to contact you again.

2. Avoid text messages that put you in an unfavourably dreadful position like begging your ex or sounding like you are having some urgent emergency and requiring your ex to return your call immediately. This will certainly put your ex off.

Now ask yourself this – Do you want your ex back? Do you want to get your ex back? How are you going to get your ex back? Learning how to get your ex back is not some rocket science; it is all possible if you know how! Throughout the article, I have gone through a systematic plan which lays the foundation for you to learn how to get your ex back.

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